Saturday, March 6, 2010

A Trip to the Doctor, With My Apologies To The Queen and Barack Obama

The kids had their annual physicals on Friday.    They weren't all that worried about it until the car ride over, then Greta confessed she was anxious because, well, of that whole sit-in-your-underwear-wearing-nothing-but-a-paper-napkin thing.   

"Think of it this way," I said.  "Everyone has to do that when they go to do the doctor.    Nobody likes it."

"EVERYONE?" she said, her eyes wide.  "Even Barack Obama?"

"Especially Barack Obama," I said, and Greta and I dissolved into peals of laughter.

Finn, looking concerned, said, "You bettah not tell Bawack Obama dat.   He won't laugh."

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At the doctor's office they processed us at the intake desk quickly, got us situated in an exam room, asked both kids to strip to their underwear and put on the dreaded paper napkin with arm holes.   And then left us there.   For, like, an HOUR.     We got bored, and started talking about famous people who need to sit in their underwear at the doctor.   The Queen of England came up.    Greta assumed a regal expression, crossed her ankles and sat up straight on the exam table.   In her paper napkin, of course.  She pretended to sip a cup of tea with her pinky up.

"Hello, my subjects," she said in a perfect English accent.   "I am the Queen of England and you must obey me.  Even in my underwear.   Bring me more tea!!!!" 

"Do you think the Queen wears her cwown to da doctah?" Finn wanted to know.

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More time passed, and Finn invented the "Lulu" dance.    It is simple to explain.   It involved him prancing around the exam room waving the little plastic tie to his paper napkin and screaming "LULULULULULULULULULU".    For like twenty minutes.

That.   Was fun.

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We were briefly entertained by the need to shuffle into the restroom to provide a urine sample.    Greta was less than enthused by this idea.   The only way I could get her to cooperate was to pretend to be one of her subjects, get on one knee, speak in a British accent and say, "May I have a Royal Sample, Your Highness?"

Finn required exactly ZERO encouragement to pee in a cup.     "You always tell me not to do dis at home!"  he cried gleefully.

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The good news?   I have two healthy kids.   Who are growing like weeds.   Finn gained 9 lbs and grew 3 inches in one year.  

"What are you eating?" the nurse joked to Finn.  

"EVERYTHING!"

8 comments:

  1. I love picturing you guys in the waiting room (it always takes forever for routine visits!!!) belting out songs and British accents :)

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  2. What a fun post ... I think that Barack Obama and his family would get a kick out of it too :)

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  3. This is a hoot! (although I'm sure it wasn't as much fun to experience as it was to read about it ...)

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  4. Oh I hate those long waits in contained doctor's office with way too many tempting things to play with. Well handled Ellie!

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  5. Finn is too adorable! I love how excited boys get about peeing in cups...it's like they've been training their whole lives to do so.

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  6. You make this trip sound like way too much fun! ;)
    Thanks for the story!

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  7. "You always tell me not to do dis at home!" he cried gleefully.

    I literally snorted when I read this! I love it :)

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  8. "You always tell me not to do dis at home!" he cried gleefully.

    I literally snorted when I read this! I love it :)

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