Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Now What?

Okay, seriously, I didn't realize how long 2 months really is until my first summer home full time with two kids. It doesn't help that the first few weeks of summer my kids were occupied very happily 100% of the time - first at my parents' house while we were on vacation, then on our family vacation with cousins last week. We have been home for two days, and I feel like I have been looking at two sets of unblinking, expectant eyes for hours on end.

"What are we going to DO today, Momma?"

It is so tempting to say "heck if I know - I'm going to kick up my heels and read a book - what are you guys gonna do?"

I managed to get to July 21st before the doldrums actually kicked in .. I guess that isn't so bad. Now we are sunburned and out of money, so the real work of negotiating a 6 year old and 3 year old through the summer weeks begins.

Organizing time has never been my strong suit, but I am slowly realizing that if I don't structure our day and set realistic expectations (mostly mine) it can be quite painful. We will have a 'mother's helper' starting next week - a local kid who will come play with them for a few hours a couple of times a week so I can get work done. But, thankfully, my business is quite busy, so I can't just bank on those few hours to accomplish everything.

So this morning I called a family conference. We plunked down on the floor in a little circle. "Yay! We're having a meeting!" Finn said. He sees me go out the door to my AA meetings at least three times a week, and he is more than curious about what-all happens there. "Not that kind of meeting, hon," I said, "we're going to plan our day together."

I explained that even though it is summer and they don't have school, that I still have to work. I said I know it is frustrating to them sometimes when I'm home but I can't play, and said that I wanted to plan each day so they know we will do fun things, too, but when I needed to work they had to find things to do together and not interrupt me.

Blink. Blink.

"So," I trudged on, "this morning I am going to do some work, then we have to go to the bead store, and then in the afternoon we'll do something fun!"

"Is it aftahnoon yet?" asks Finn.

"Okay," says Greta, but she recognizes an opportunity when she sees one, "so if we're good and don't bother you this morning, this afternoon you'll give me ten bucks?"

"Is it aftahnoon now?" asks Finn.

"No, hon, this isn't about money," I say.

"But, you have to work to make money, and I think its only fair that I get some money, too. I mean, looking after Finn is a lot of work."

"But you aren't looking after him, you are playing with him. You know, because you love him."

She rolls her eyes.

"NOW it is aftahnoon, right?" says Finn.

It goes on this way for a few more minutes, until it occurs to me that I'm delaying the gratifying part of the day - they just don't have that kind of patience yet. So I switch tactics. "Okay, we'll play this morning, and then this afternoon I will do my work - how's that?"

"Is it morning now?" asks Finn.

I look at his sweet face and chubby little cheeks. "Yes, it is morning now, what do you want to do?" He wants to "play beach".

So suddenly I'm pretending to snorkel around on my carpet that needs vacuuming and wondering who is really in charge around here.

"Do I still get my ten bucks?" asks Greta.

7 comments:

  1. I remember those days! Sometimes I could not wait for summer to end and sometimes I never wanted those days to end. Cherish these times because in a blink of an eye they are gone! At the beginning of summer, the kids and I would write down things we wanted to do during the summer which could include things from day trips to coloring and put them in a jar and each day we would reach in the jar to see what we were going to do the next day. If the first item selected was an all day adventure that would be the only selection, if it was something small, we would make another selection to add to our day. Choosing a day ahead helped for additional planning if necessary. Have a wonderful summer!

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  2. haha, like an AA meeting, but for your family. loves it.

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  3. loves it too, like erma bombeck only modern, great stuff, can't wait for the next installment it is so much funnier now that the kid is a teen - peace for all

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  4. Think "Camp"... where they have scheduled activities AND they have a "chore wheel"... you don't have latrines to clean, but make a list of chores to be shared so that there is more time to do fun stuff. Let Finn have a turn at the vacuum and Greta at unloading the dishwasher, and more... and ROTATE. Folded laundry and swept floors don't have to be perfect. Some jobs (cleaning cat box?) need to be reserved for "counselors", but get those kiddies helping, so that you can enjoy more time with them... they are Lots Of Fun to be with!!!

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  5. Funny!!

    Last summer we did not invest the equivalent of 3 car payments in camps (as we did this year) and we made a list of activities that we all came up with at a family meeting. We chugged are way through the list. We made sure to come up with some free ones that they got surprisingly excited about (surprise Daddy with a supper picnic) and every couple weeks we would do one that cost money. Our next 2 weeks are camp-free so if you could just come up with some great ides, I'll just steal them!

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  6. Funny!!

    Last summer we did not invest the equivalent of 3 car payments in camps (as we did this year) and we made a list of activities that we all came up with at a family meeting. We chugged are way through the list. We made sure to come up with some free ones that they got surprisingly excited about (surprise Daddy with a supper picnic) and every couple weeks we would do one that cost money. Our next 2 weeks are camp-free so if you could just come up with some great ides, I'll just steal them!

    ReplyDelete
  7. loves it too, like erma bombeck only modern, great stuff, can't wait for the next installment it is so much funnier now that the kid is a teen - peace for all

    ReplyDelete