Messy Bed, Messy Head

I cleaned.

And I don't just mean tidied up - I purged; a throw-open-the-windows-get-down-on-your-hands-and-knees scrubbing.

I tackled my house - and my mind - with a vigor I haven't felt in a long time, sweeping away cobwebs of stagnation and infusing my creative space with a energy and light.

As my recent posts reflect, I've been feeling creatively and existentially stuck lately.   I woke up Sunday morning early to work on orders, and as I walked into my studio I felt a heaviness, a kind of dread, as I sat down at my work station.   Every inch of my desk was covered in detritus; beads, little snips of wire, discarded scrap metal, and it hit me:  messy bed, messy head.

My counselors in rehab used to chirp this at us bright and early each morning; we were required to make our beds and tidy up our room every day before morning meditation.  I grumbled about it every morning, failing to see what was so important about this menial chore.

Yesterday, it all tumbled into place:  my studio was a physical manifestation of my mental clutter, my stuckness.

It took me five hours, but I cleared every surface.  I scrubbed and organized and gutted out every drawer, every dark corner full of junk.   I rearranged my entire space, pushing my work table up against a window and separating my office space from my creative space. 

When it was done, I rubbed my aching back and stood back to admire my work.  I felt a quickening in my pulse, an eagerness to get to work.   I'll be damned, I thought.   It worked.

Next I tacked my in-home store (read: converted dining room).  I separated the store space from the studio space, moved in a comfy chair and organized all my jewelry displays.

Without any before pictures, it's hard to get a sense of the light and space this purging created, but it's much better.    I used to kind of dread when people would stop by to shop; my work station was always cluttered and messy, and there were no places to sit and chat.  I have more plans for this space, down the road: a coffee station, pretty display cases, a nook with a set-up to teach classes.   Now I can actually feel how this will be possible, some day.

I woke up this morning refueled, recharged and totally inspired.   I spent a few minutes just sitting in my studio, sipping coffee and dreaming.   With a big smile on my face.

I'm back.